How To Create Your Wedding Guest List

If you haven't picked your wedding ceremony and reception venues yet, draft a rough guest list before you go on tours. This will help you focus on spaces that can accommodate your party size. Or, you could work the other way around by booking your dream venue first, and then work your guest-list size around the venue's capacity.

Either way? Stick to its maximum capacity. Don't bank on the 15-25% decline rate — over-inviting can backfire if everyone RSVPs yes. A few extra invites are fine, but inviting 175 guests for a 150-person venue is risky.

The size of your guest list will have the biggest single impact on your wedding budget. Here's what you need to consider when aligning your guest count with your finances:

• More guests = more spending on venue space, rentals, food, bar, stationery, flowers, and nearly every other aspect.
• Discuss with your partner how many guests your budget realistically allows.
• Let your budget and venue size be the main factors driving your guest list count.
• Consider an elegant micro wedding with your closest friends and family if your budget is tight — keeping your guest list small is the best way to save money if you're on a tight budget.

Talk with both sets of parents early about dividing up the guest list. This conversation can be tricky, especially if they're both contributing financially, but it's important to manage expectations.

One common approach is to give the couple 50% of the guest list while each set of parents gets 25%. Adjust this based on who's paying and your family dynamics to reach a resolution that sits well with everyone.

Work with your partner and parents to compile and rank potential guests. Here's how to organize your lists:

A-List (your non-negotiables):

• These are people whom neither you nor your partner could imagine the wedding without.
• These guests receive your first round of invitations.
• Star these names as you review your master list.

B-List (guests you still want there):

• These guests should be ranked in order of importance.
• Send invitations to this group if you receive enough "regrets" from your A-List.
• Mail these invites at a slightly later date, starting with the highest priority people on the list.

Combine all A-Lists from you, your partner, and both sets of parents. Remove duplicates, tally the total, and compare it to your capacity limit.

If you're over the limit, here are strategies to edit your guest list down to size:

• Make it adults only. A quick way to shrink your guest list is to make your wedding adults only. Parents in your group will likely appreciate a kid-free night out. Be thoughtful with your invitation wording — address envelopes to adults only and clarify on your website.
• Cut whole groups. Eliminate entire categories like "elementary school friends" or "softball team" rather than individual people. This feels fairer and avoids hurt feelings among coworkers or friend groups.
• Try the "one year" test. For guests you're unsure about, ask: Have you seen them in the past year? Would you see them next year if not for the wedding? If not, they don't make the cut.
• You don't always have to reciprocate. If you attended someone's wedding in the past 18 months and you're still close, they should be invited (especially if you were in the wedding party). But if they married 3-4 years ago and you've fallen out of touch, you're not obligated to invite them.

Start with your parents, grandparents, siblings, their partners, and their children.

If you have extended family members that you're close with and would like at your wedding, be sure to add them to the list. Think about the aunts, uncles, and cousins that you see regularly. How far through the extended family do you go before friends start becoming more important than a family connection? Ultimately, it’s up to you and your specific family dynamics.

Start with your closest pals and put them on the list; next, think about friends you see or speak to on a regular basis or are significant in your life. These could be friends from school, activity groups, and neighbors.

A good rule of thumb is to only invite co-workers that you spend time with outside of the office or feel especially close to — don’t feel like you need to invite your whole department or office.

Adding a plus-one to your single friends' invitations can increase your overall wedding guest list numbers. Here's our best advice for navigating plus-ones:

• Married, engaged, and cohabitating guests should get a plus-one.
• Give your wedding-party members a plus-one.
• Guests who’ve been with their significant other for so long that it’d be awkward not to invite them should also get a plus-one.
• For everyone else, make a blanket rule, such as “only immediate or close family can bring a date,” and stick to it.

Whatever route you choose to go, make sure you address your invitations as clearly as possible to avoid confusion. For tips on how to do just that, check out our wedding invitation addressing guide.

Choosing whether or not to invite kids to your wedding can be a stressful decision. They will obviously add to your guest numbers, and in some family circumstances, you may have no choice. Discuss with your partner whether or not you’ll be inviting children to the wedding. Do this early on in the process of creating your guest list, as this could change the dynamics of your day.

Now's the time to bring your parents into the conversation. Keep in mind that some parents might feel a sense of ownership over the guest list, especially if they're contributing to some, if not all, of the cost of the wedding. A good solution to navigating this potentially tricky conversation is to give both families the same number of extra guests. This way, your parents can use these seats however they'd like.

You've finalized your guest list — now you need current addresses. Skip emailing or calling each guest individually and use an online tool to collect addresses efficiently in one place.

With Minted's digital address collection cards, guests receive an email requesting their address. Everything is saved in your online address book, and Minted prints addresses directly on your save the dates, invitations, and thank-you cards envelopes.

To avoid situations where guests add uninvited guests to their response cards (sadly, it does happen), print (or hand-write) the invited guest's name onto the RSVP card before mailing. That way, there's no way anyone can sneak an extra invite on you.

Inevitably, you're probably going to hear something along the lines of, "I can't wait to come to your wedding!" from someone not on your invite list. Rather than blurting out, "Me too!" and hastily mailing an invitation, stick to your guns. An easy out is to blame it on venue space limitations ("I'm so sorry, I wish we could invite everyone, but unfortunately, our venue is really tight on space."). Otherwise, you'll wind up with a bloated guest list and a giant headache later down the road when you're forced to cut people out.

If your parents are contributing financially, it's reasonable to allocate them a portion of the guest list for their friends. Use the suggested split (couple gets 50%, each set of parents gets 25%) and let them use their allocation as they wish. If you're paying for everything yourself, you have more say in limiting unknown guests.

Expect a higher decline rate for destination weddings (sometimes 40-50%), but still don't over-invite beyond your venue capacity. Send save-the-dates extra early (8-12 months in advance) so guests can plan travel. Consider that your guest list may naturally be smaller since fewer people can make the trip.

Send B-list invitations only after you've received enough "regrets" from your A-list to accommodate them. Aim to send these at least 6 weeks before the wedding so B-List guests don't feel like an afterthought and have time to make arrangements.

Keep it simple and blame logistics: "We'd love to have everyone, but unfortunately, our venue has strict capacity limits." Don't apologize excessively or make exceptions, as this can create a domino effect.

Not necessarily. Focus on inviting family members you have a genuine relationship with. If you haven't connected with a distant cousin in years, it's okay not to include them. Your wedding is about celebrating with people who are actively part of your life.