tips for planning the perfect engagement party

It’s natural to want to dive in and have your engagement party right away. “Let’s get the party started,” most couples say! And while we recommend having it in the first few months of the engagement, waiting at least a month after getting engaged will give you a little time to enjoy your newly engaged bliss and allow you to plan an event without stress. However, some couples will have some sort of engagement party immediately following their proposal. It takes some serious creativity and planning to pull this off! Review our list of proposal ideas to see what other couples have done.

Traditionally, the parents of the bride. However, these days the position of host is up for grabs! It’s common to have other relatives or friends of the couple take this role. Some couples choose to plan their own.

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Close friends and loved ones are typically invited. You will want to consider whether you want children to be invited or not, so people with children can plan ahead and get a babysitter if they’re not. The exact number of people depends on the couple’s preference, however, it should be noted that engagement parties are more intimate than weddings so the whole guest list doesn’t need to be there. Those invited to the engagement party should also be on the wedding guest list, though.

Depending on the format you choose, you have some flexibility. You may decide to do a sit-down dinner, a buffet, or an appetizers and mingling event. There may be games and scheduled activities or you might just want it to be drop-in. The standard length is somewhere around four hours but you can decide what works best for your vision.

The short answer is no! You and your partner can opt to throw your engagement party at different times of the day and take all different approaches, from a mimosa brunch to light afternoon bites, an evening cocktail party, or a full-on dinner. It really depends on the formality you desire for your engagement party and the location. Make sure you are clear about this on your party invitation.

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Once you decide what type of engagement party you’ll be throwing, it’s nice to include a dress code in the engagement party invitation you send out to guests so they don’t have to guess what to wear. It depends entirely on the formality of the party. Attire can range from casual to cocktail attire to black tie. Giving your guests a head’s up is a common courtesy.

You can opt between formal paper invites or electronic ones, but some sort of formal communication should be delivered. A simple text email, group text message, etc. does not reinforce the significance of the event and is likely to get lost, or worse, forgotten. An invitation will also allow for details like dress code, event location, and more to be shared.

Presents aren’t required at an engagement party – the main focus is on celebrating your happy news. However, some people may bring gifts and you can accept them graciously! You may want to have a discrete table to put these on so you can transport them home later to unwrap them. Make sure you write thank you cards for any gifts received.

Regardless of the engagement party theme, the bride can usually wear a dress of varying length or pants with a blouse. Many brides choose to make this the first time they wear a little white dress, but you have many more events for that if you feel more comfortable in something else. Most people will be looking at the engagement ring anyway! The groom is safe in a pair of slacks and a button-down. If the event is more formal, then a suit and tie are perfect.

It is not uncommon for couples who are from different countries, states, or coasts to have more than one engagement party. While it’s ideal to have your closest friends and loved ones gather in one place, you aren’t breaking any rules by having more than one if it’s impossible to get everyone together.

You bet! Engagement party etiquette stands that these speeches are typically far more informal than wedding speeches. Typically the couple will ask the host(s) to say a few words, the bride and/or groom will thank everyone for coming, and a friend or two will say a few remarks. These are typically light, funny, and casual. It is a time to celebrate and gear up for a season of festivities. The best is yet to come.

Engagement parties usually happen soon after the actual proposal and engagement. But, as we mentioned before, wait a month or so to soak up all the just-engaged bliss before you jump into engagement party planning. Another idea: plan a party with your nearest and dearest, and then surprise guests by announcing your engagement at the celebration.

When considering various theme options, think about what fits you as a couple. If you both love brunch, you may want to do a brunch buffet. If you love art, you may consider something at a local museum. The theme and vibe you choose will heavily influence all your other decisions, such as dress code, food served, decorations, and venue. Ask yourself questions such as, do you prefer an elegant night out at a nice restaurant or a sunset beach picnic with pets nearby? Many couples choose to host an engagement party that will feel quite different from their actual wedding, even if it’s just an excuse to go for a less classic and formal theme.

After you’ve decided on the general vibe you want for your engagement party, it’s time to pick a venue. Whether it’s a favorite bar, a fancy restaurant, or your own backyard, pick a venue that reflects the style of celebration you’re going for. If you’re planning your engagement party during the time of COVID-19, consider hosting it outdoors in places such as a backyard, park, rooftop, beach, etc. You may find our articles on wedding venue tips and questions to ask an event venue helpful in your hunt.

The engagement party is a more intimate celebration, so invite close friends and family (keeping in mind that everyone should also be invited to the wedding, as well). Sit down with your partner and agree on the guest list together.

Depending on if you feel comfortable receiving gifts or not, it doesn’t hurt to at least start your wedding registry before inviting guests to your engagement party. You could always just say to save their gift for the wedding and provide a link to the registry. Alternatively, if you’re not ready to start your registry and want to give guests an option to give, ask them to donate to one of your favorite charities in your honor.

Engagement parties offer some level of food and drinks and what that looks like depends on the type of party. Decide what celebratory drinks you’ll be serving (wine, beer, cocktails, juice for kids, mocktails), and make sure they pair well with the food items you’re offering. Take into account anyone attending who may have food allergies or dietary preferences (vegan, vegetarian, pescatarian, etc.).

For a backyard celebration, choose your favorite picnic or cookout fare, plus a cheese and charcuterie spread (always a guaranteed crowd pleaser!). For a more formal dinner, opt for a family-style meal instead of a multi-course seated dinner.

If the party is a more formal celebration, like a seated dinner or cocktail party, then sending a printed invitation will set the tone for an elegant celebration to come. But if your engagement party style is more low-key and casual, then send an online invitation with the party information. Also, there's no need to match these invitations to the rest of your wedding invitations—just choose a festive design that you both love and coordinates with the theme of your engagement party. A simple text email or group text message isn’t advised, however, as it doesn’t reinforce the significance of the event. Your loved ones will appreciate you sharing full details that include time, date, place, dress code, etc.

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It is customary for the bride or groom (or both!) to say a few words at the engagement party. Thank the hosts for planning the party and thank everyone for coming. Because it is an intimate event, you don’t have to be super formal and your toast doesn’t have to be long. You can keep it short and casual.