Wedding Planning Guide

what to wear to a wedding

Be the best-dressed guest by following our guide.

Attire Rules
Seasonal Wedding Looks
Dress Code Cheat Sheet

By HEATHER LEE | Last Updated: April 10, 2019

Deciding what to wear to a wedding can be tricky, especially if there's a vague dress code or an out-there theme. But there’s one fact to keep in mind that supercedes all else: It is not your day. We don’t say this to sound harsh (heck, maybe you’re relieved!), but to keep your ensemble in perspective. Not just in terms of what not to wear, but what to wear—the wedded couple has spent a lot of time (and, likely, money) planning this event, and it’s a big one for them. Be a joyful guest, not fodder for gossip.

Okay, now that we got that out of the way, let’s get to the fun part: picking out the perfect wedding-guest outfit! Whether you’re perusing your closet or your favorite clothing store, we have all the tips, rules, and cheat sheets you’ll need to look your best.

10 WEDDING-GUEST ATTIRE RULES YOU NEED TO KNOW

When you’re going through your various outfit options, we have 10 golden rules of dress code for weddings that, when followed, will help you strike the perfect balance of fashionable and appropriate.

Rule #1
Follow their rules. Seems simple, but it’s often overlooked. The spouses-to-be will typically state their attire desires on the invitation, wedding website, and/or other wedding correspondence. Sometimes it’s a simple dress code category (see our cheat sheet below), other times it will be more explicit. Whatever they say, follow it as best you can, even (or especially) if this rule means you break all the others in this list. It’s their day, not ours!

Rule #2
Don’t wear white. Whether it’s a dress or a suit, don’t do it. White is for the ones exchanging the vows. Gentlemen, white shirts are totally fine; white suit jackets are not. Unless Rule #1 dictates otherwise, leave your white party look at home. This goes for pre-wedding events, as well (e.g., rehearsal dinners, engagement parties, bridal showers, etc.)

Rule #3
Bring on the color! Sure, you can’t wear white, but you can pick from literally any other color—including black! Bonus guest points: Avoid the wedding-party colors if you can, so you don’t have to keep saying you aren’t a bridesmaid all night. You won’t always have access to this information, so it’s not worth stressing over, but if you know the wedding party is wearing navy, go a different way (or bring in a pattern).

Rule #4
Err on the side of overdressed. It’s always better to look overdressed than underdressed—generally in life, and especially at a wedding. Formal wedding attire might mean sacrificing a bit of comfort if you hate ties or dry cleaning, but the betrothed will appreciate your efforts.

Rule #5
Dress appropriately. By that we mean, of course, don’t show too much skin—particularly if you’ll be attending a religious ceremony. In general, follow the “rule of one”: feel free to highlight your one favorite asset and leave it at that. For example, choose only one feature between a plunging neckline, or a cutout, or a low back, or a short hemline, or a body-hugging silhouette. For men’s outfits, you’re in less luck: Aside from some rolled sleeves and an undone top button on your dress shirt (if permitted by the dress code), we advise to keep the rest covered.

Rule #6
...and accessorize appropriately. You aren’t there to steal the show with your chunk-tastic necklace or Hope Diamond-esque earrings. You’re not walking a red carpet or performing on stage, so find accessories that accentuate your look—not make everyone look at you.

Rule #7
Don’t forget the shoes! Shoes are an important part of any ensemble, and there are rules about what shoes to wear to a wedding, too. When it comes to deciding what shoes to wear to a wedding, the same general principles apply: Keep the wedded couple’s dress code in mind and lean dressy over casual. This means no sneakers, no Crocs, and no flip-flops (if you want to shove a pair in your purse for the dance floor, that’s fine—otherwise, find a fancier sandal).

Rule #8
When to loosen up your look. Most of these rules are particularly crucial for the ceremony. Once the reception hits, it’s okay to make yourself a bit more comfortable, especially if it’s warm out. For men, this can mean losing the suit jacket, rolling up your shirt sleeves, and even taking off your tie if the dress code isn’t too formal. For women, your options are more limited—but if you’ve got a comfier pair of shoes saved for the dance floor, break them out!

Rule #9
Wear it with confidence. You followed the rules? You look great. When you feel good about what you’re wearing, it will show. And if you’re not thrilled about stuffing your feet into dress shoes or keeping your enviable cleavage covered, fake it til you make it (home).

Rule #10
When in doubt...don’t. You have their attire instructions zoomed in on your phone in one hand, and in the other you have a truly fabulous outfit that may or may not fit their specifications. How to tell? Well, you can always ask the bride(s) or groom(s). But if you’re like us, it’s the day of their wedding, and they do not have time for your questions. Our advice? Go with the safe bet. You’ll look great and will feel greater knowing that you aren’t taking an unnecessary risk.