Love the significance of wedding vows but aren’t particularly religious? Meet secular wedding vows, also known as nonreligious wedding vows, which are perfectly appropriate and meaningful ways to enter into matrimony. In this article, we’ve put together some nontraditional wedding vow samples that keep it simple and secular for your ceremony, whether you want to use them verbatim or take inspiration from them to write your own vows.
We recommend you sit down with your partner and read the vow samples below together. Choose the one that resonates with you both the most and use the words as is, or add your own words and sentiments to personalize the vows and make them your own—truly, anything goes with these nontraditional wedding vows as long as the words feel meaningful to you.
Pro tip: For even more wedding vow inspiration, check out our complete wedding vows guide!
Photo by: Cassie Rosch
YOUR PRE-WRITING CHECKLIST FOR PERFECT WEDDING VOWS
Before you start writing those heartfelt promises, use this checklist to ensure you're fully prepared to craft your perfect wedding vows:
- Have the talk: Discuss with your partner whether you'll write separately or together, and if you'll share vows before the ceremony. Agree on any special phrases or promises you both want to include.
- Set the boundaries: Decide on length (aim for 1-2 minutes), tone (heartfelt, humorous, or both), and whether to include traditional or cultural elements.
- Plan your presentation: Choose how you'll deliver your vows (vow books, cards, or devices), and create backup copies. Consider giving one to your officiant.
- Set your timeline: Mark your calendar to have your vows completed at least three weeks before the wedding day.
- Organize practice sessions: Plan when and how you'll rehearse—whether alone, recorded, or with a trusted friend.
- Prepare your backups: Print copies in large, clear font and store them in multiple safe places.
- Review examples: Look through our vow samples below to inspire your own perfect promises.
By checking off these items, you'll be well-prepared to write vows that are authentic, meaningful, and true to your relationship. Ready to start writing? Let's explore some inspiring examples below.
Photo by: Allen Fu
HOW TO WRITE YOUR OWN NON-RELIGIOUS WEDDING VOWS
How do you capture years of love, countless memories, and all your future dreams in just a few perfect promises? Don't worry – writing your own wedding vows doesn't have to be overwhelming. Here's a step-by-step approach to crafting vows that truly reflect your love story:
Start with reflection
Set aside quiet time to journal about your relationship. Consider writing down:
- The moment you knew this person was "the one"
- What makes your partnership special
- The qualities you admire most in your partner
- How they've helped you grow
- Your shared values and beliefs
Look back and forward
Your vows should honor both your history together and your future dreams:
- Recall significant moments in your relationship
- Think about challenges you've overcome together
- Envision your shared goals and aspirations
- Consider the life milestones you want to experience together
- Remember the promises that will matter most in 5, 10, or 50 years
Balance your promises
Mix emotional declarations with practical commitments:
- Start with heartfelt statements about your love
- Include specific, actionable promises for daily life
- Add commitments about supporting their dreams and growth
- Incorporate promises about facing challenges together
- Close with a strong declaration of your lasting commitment
Make them memorable
Personal touches make your vows uniquely yours:
- Reference shared experiences or adventures
- Include meaningful quotes or song lyrics
- Mention traditions you want to continue
- Add promises specific to your relationship dynamics
- Balance serious promises with lighter moments
- Keep inside jokes subtle enough for guests to appreciate
Your vows don't need to be perfect—they need to be authentic. The most meaningful vows are those that come from the heart and truly represent your relationship.
Photo by: The Stewarts Roam
VOWS FOR A TRADITIONAL CEREMONY
VOWS SAMPLE 1
Officiant (each person to repeat):
“[Partner 1's Name], do you take [Partner 2's Name] to be your wedded [wife/husband], to live together in marriage? Do you pledge to love [him/her], comfort [him/her], honor and keep [him/her] for better or worse for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to [him/her], for as long as you both shall live?”
Bride/Groom:
“I do.”
VOWS SAMPLE 2
Officiant (each person to repeat):
“Do you, [Partner 1's Name], take [Partner 2's Name] to be your [husband/wife], to cherish in friendship and love today, tomorrow, and for as long as the two of you live, to trust and honor [him/her], to love [him/her] faithfully, through the best and the worst, whatever may come, and if you should ever doubt, to remember your love for each other and the reason why you came together with [him/her] this day?”
Groom/Bride:
“I do.”
VOWS SAMPLE 3
Officiant (each person to repeat):
“Do you, [Partner 1's Name], take [Partner 2's Name] to be your wedded [husband/wife], to cherish in love and in friendship, in strength and in weakness, in success and in disappointment, and vow to love [him/her] faithfully, today, tomorrow, and for as long as the two of you shall live?”
Bride/Groom:
“I do.”
Photo by: Carissa Marie Photography
STEADFAST COMMITMENTS
VOWS SAMPLE 4
Each partner to repeat:
“[Partner's Name], you are my best friend, the one I want to share my life with.
I will love you forever.
I will always support you.
I will stick by your side in sickness and health.
I will encourage you in everything you do.
I will support you during your personal growth.
I will strive every day to make our marriage stronger.
I will be your friend, your love, and your partner.
All the days of our lives.”
VOWS SAMPLE 5
Each partner to repeat:
“From this day forward I promise you these things:
I will laugh with you in times of joy and comfort you in times of sorrow.
I will share in your dreams and support you as you strive to achieve your goals.
I will listen to you with compassion and understanding, and speak to you with encouragement.
I will help you when you need it and step aside when you don’t.
I will remain faithful to you for better or worse, in times of sickness and health.
You are my best friend and I will love and respect you, always.”
VOWS SAMPLE 6
Each partner to repeat:
“[Partner's name], I take you to be my partner for life, my constant friend, and my true love.
I will work to create a bond of honesty, respect, and trust; one that withstands the tides of time and change, and grows along with us.
I vow to honor and respect you for all that you are and will become, taking pride in who we are, both separately and together.
I promise to challenge you and to accept challenges from you.
I will join with you and our community in an ongoing adventure to create a world we all want to live in, where love and friendship will be recognized and celebrated in all their many forms.
Our home will be a sanctuary and a respite for us and for those whom we cherish. Above all, I will give you my love freely and unconditionally.
I pledge this to you from the bottom of my heart, for all the days of our lives.”
VOWS SAMPLE 7
“I promise to respect, admire, and appreciate you for who you are, as well as for the person you wish to become.
I promise to support and protect your freedom; because although our lives are intertwined, your choices are still yours alone.
I promise to seek a deep understanding of your wishes, your desires, your fears, and your dreams.
I promise to always strive to meet your needs—not out of obligation, but because it delights me to see you happy.
I promise to be there for you when you need me, whenever you need me.
I promise to nurture your goals and ambitions; to support you through misfortune and celebrate your triumphs.
I promise to keep our lives exciting, adventurous, and full of passion.
I promise to persevere when times get tough, knowing that any challenges we might face, we will conquer them together.
I promise to treat you with compassion over fairness, because we are a team, now and for always.
I promise to show you, every day, that I know exactly how lucky I am to have you in my life.”
VOWS SAMPLE 8
Each partner to repeat:
“Today we move from ‘I’ to ‘we.’
[Partner's Name], take this ring as a symbol of my decision to join my life with yours for all our days together.
I walked to this place by myself to meet you today; and we shall walk from it together.”
Photo by: Sasha Reiko Photography
LIGHTHEARTED & MODERN
VOWS SAMPLE 9
“I could stand here and tell you how much I love you, but those words are meaningless unless they are shown through my actions. These are my promises.
I vow to stay silly and never take ourselves too seriously.
I vow to trust and value your opinions.
I vow to travel beside you through all of life’s adventures.
I vow to always keep fighting for us, because I know we can overcome any uphill battles we might face.
And lastly, I vow that I will choose you every day—not because I have to, but because I want to.”
VOWS SAMPLE 10
“Today, I want to make promises to you that I will always keep.
I promise to never stop holding your hand.
I promise to make sure I’m not just hungry when I get upset.
I promise to share my food with you.
I promise to never go to bed angry.
I promise to stand by your side while you face the world.
I promise to listen to you when you speak.
I promise to join your laughter with my own. And when you can’t look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark.
I promise to grow alongside you, but also to never grow up.
I promise to love, respect, protect, and trust you.
I promise to give you the best of myself, because I know that together we will build a life far better than either of us could imagine alone.
I choose you. I’ll choose you over and over and over again, and I’ll keep choosing you.”
VOWS SAMPLE 11
Each partner to repeat:
“With all my heart, I [Partner 1's Name] take you [Partner 2's Name] to be my [wife/husband].
I promise to be your lover, companion, and friend.
Your partner in parenthood.
Your ally in conflict.
Your greatest fan.
I will be your comrade in adventure.
Your comfort in disappointment.
Your accomplice in mischief.
Your strength in times of need.
I will listen with understanding and trust you completely.
All the days of my life.”
Photo by: Anna Pervertaylo Photography
POETIC & ROMANTIC
VOWS SAMPLE 12
“The day I met you, I became a true believer that you do not find true love, but true love finds you.
Everything in me recognizes your heart as my home and your arms, my shelter. You are my better half and my best friend.
I will love you, honor you, respect and cherish you in sickness and health, through sorrows and success, for all the days of my life.
I am forever yours.”
VOWS SAMPLE 13
Partner 1:
“In your eyes, I have found my home.
In your heart, I have found my love.
In your soul, I have found my mate.
With you, I am whole, full, alive.
You make me laugh.
You let me cry.
You are my breath, my every heartbeat.
I am yours.
You are mine.
Of this we are certain.
You are lodged in my heart.
The small key is lost.
You must stay there forever.”
Partner 2:
“You are my inspiration and my soul’s fire.
You are the magic of my days.
You help me laugh, you teach me love.
You provide a safe place for me, unlike I’ve ever known.
You free me to sing my own song.
You are more of an amazement to me, each day I rediscover you.
You are my greatest boon.
I am yours.
You are mine.
Of this we are certain.
You are lodged in my heart.
The small key is lost.
You must stay there forever.”
(By Frau Ava, translated by Willis Barnstone)
VOWS SAMPLE 13
“With this ring, I give you my promise
That from this day forward you shall not walk alone.
May my heart be your shelter and my arms be your home.”
VOWS SAMPLE 15
“I give you all of my love from this day forward and assure you that you will never walk alone.
Your love is my anchor and your trust is my strength.
This ring has no beginning or end and neither does my love for you.
Today I give you all that I am and all that I shall become.”
Photo by: Mary Costa Photography
GROWTH & PARTNERSHIP
VOWS SAMPLE 16
Each partner to repeat:
“With our beloved friends and family members as witnesses,
I, [Partner 1's Name], take you, [Partner 2's Name], to be my wedded [wife/husband].
In doing so, I vow to do my utmost to make our lives together a true partnership.
I commit to loving who you are now, and promise to trust and love the person you will become.
I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, falling in love a little more every day.
I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us”.
VOWS SAMPLE 17
Each partner to repeat:
“I take you to be my partner for life.
I promise above all else to live in truth with you
And to communicate fully and fearlessly.
I give you my hand and my heart
As a sanctuary of warmth and peace,
And pledge my love, devotion, faith, and honor
As I join my life to yours.”
VOWS SAMPLE 18
“I choose you.
To stand by your side and sleep in your arms.
To be joy to your heart and food for your soul.
To learn with you and grow with you, even as time and life change us both.
I promise to laugh with you in good times and struggle alongside you in bad times.
I promise to respect you and cherish you as an individual, a partner, and an equal, knowing that we do not complete, but complement each other.
May we have many adventures and grow old together.”
VOWS SAMPLE 19
Each partner to repeat:
“I, [Partner 1's Name] give to you, [Partner 2's Name] my vow of sacred matrimony.
I acknowledge our individuality and respect the natural space that will reside comfortably between us.
I promise to bridge that space with open communication, silent understanding, and heartfelt compassion.
I promise to act loving so as to be loving.
I promise to love passionately, argue fairly and support you unfailingly.
I gladly accept the responsibilities that come with our relationship.
I love you and pledge my fidelity all the days of our lives.”
VOWS SAMPLE 20
Each partner to repeat:
“I take you, with all your faults and strengths, as I offer myself to you, with all my faults and strengths.
I will help you when you need support, and turn to you when I need help.
You are not perfect, but you are perfect for me.
I choose you as my person—the one I want to spend my life.”
Photo by: Stephanie Wolf Photo
DELIVERY TIPS FOR YOUR VOWS
Even the most beautifully written vows deserve a thoughtful delivery. Here's how to ensure your words reach not just your partner's ears, but their heart:
- Find your pace: Speak slowly and clearly—about half the speed of your normal talking voice. When we're nervous or emotional, we tend to rush. Take deliberate pauses between sentences to let your words sink in.
- Make it personal: Hold eye contact with your partner as much as possible. While you'll need to glance at your notes, try to look up at key moments, especially during your most meaningful promises.
- Embrace the emotion: If you tear up or need a moment, that's perfectly natural. Take a deep breath, smile, and continue when you're ready. Your genuine emotions make the moment more meaningful, not less.
- Master the microphone: If using one, keep it about 6 inches from your mouth and slightly below your chin. Practice beforehand to find the right distance and volume. Remember not to turn your head away while speaking.
- Handle your notes gracefully: Hold your notes at chest level to avoid blocking your face. If using cards or a vow book, keep them steady to avoid distracting movement. Consider having a pocket or place to put them after you're done.
- Stand with confidence: Keep your shoulders relaxed and open toward your partner. Plant your feet about shoulder-width apart for stability. Remember to breathe—it helps calm nerves and supports your voice.
For more guidance on rehearsing your ceremony, including vow delivery, check out our complete Wedding Rehearsal Guide.
Photo by: Tosh Muniz Losos
WEDDING VOW FAQs
Whether you're writing your first draft or preparing for the big day, here are answers to some common questions about wedding vows:
Do we need to memorize our vows?
No, you don't need to memorize them. While it's great to be familiar with your vows, reading them is perfectly acceptable and common. What matters most is the sincerity of your words, not whether they're memorized. Having your vows written down also provides a beautiful keepsake from your wedding day.
Should our vows match in length?
While your vows don't need to be exactly the same length, aim to keep them roughly similar—ideally between 1-2 minutes when spoken. This helps create balance in your ceremony and ensures one partner's vows don't overshadow the other's. Discuss general length guidelines with each other or your officiant early in the planning process.
Can we include quotes from movies/books?
Absolutely! If certain quotes hold special meaning for your relationship, feel free to incorporate them. Just be sure to give credit where it's due ("As [author/character] once said..."), and consider choosing references that most of your guests will understand. Remember to balance quotes with your own original promises.
What if we get emotional during delivery?
Getting emotional during your vows is completely natural; even beautiful—it shows how meaningful the moment is. Take your time, breathe deeply, and know that your guests will understand and appreciate this genuine display of emotion. If you need a moment to compose yourself, take it. Your officiant can help guide you through the moment.
How should we handle multilingual vows?
There are several ways to approach multilingual vows:
- Speak your vows in one language and provide written translations in the program
- Say each line in both languages
- Have one partner speak in one language and the other in another
- Ask your officiant to translate after each section
Choose the approach that feels most natural and inclusive for you, your partner, and your guests.
Photo by: Peyton Byford Photography
Your wedding vows are more than just words—they're the foundation of your marriage and a reflection of your unique love story. Whether you choose to adapt our samples, write your own from scratch, or blend different styles, remember that the most meaningful vows are those that ring true to your relationship.
As you prepare to express your commitment in front of loved ones, keep in mind that perfection isn't the goal—authenticity is. Your partner fell in love with you, not a scripted version of you. Let your vows reflect that genuine connection that brought you to this moment.
