In many ways, your wedding vows are the most important part of your ceremony. This is your chance to tell your soon-to-be spouse and all your friends and family why you’ve chosen them and what you hope to build together in the future. When creating wedding vows for her, you want to carefully plan out what you intend to say. While there are so many important details to attend to, you don’t want to leave this task for last. Give yourself time to find the right words. Even if you’re a practiced public speaker, this can be an emotional moment, so it’s best to come prepared.
Begin with a brainstorm. You can use Minted’s Writing Worksheet to get all your ideas down in one place. It also helps to get inspiration from lots of different sources. We’ve created a guide below with easy-to-follow steps for writing wedding vows for her, ranging from short one-liners to longer, more involved complete vows. We also offer a range of tones from funny to sentimental. Feel free to mix and match to use the ones that are best for you. The wedding vows for her should highlight your spouse-to-be’s unique personality, experiences, and beliefs. Most importantly, it should come from your heart and express your true feelings. We’ve left suggestions to guide you in adding your own personal touches along the way.
How to Write Vows for Her
Writing from the heart is one of the hardest things to do. To help you with this task, we’ve broken down the wedding vow writing process into these easy to follow steps. The best vows don’t just hit one note, but take on a variety of tones. You may recall a funny memory but then say a sentimental vow or vice versa. Guests may laugh and they may cry. Depending on how long you would like your vows to be, you can skip steps or adjust the order:
Read about this real Minted wedding on the coast in Northern California.
Step 1
Before you get started, align with your spouse-to-be on general length and tone. If he or she is intending to write short formal vows, you don’t want to write long, informal vows. You don’t need to share anything more than those big picture details, but getting the overall vision right is important so there are no unplanned surprises on your wedding day.
Step 2
Begin with a brainstorm. Getting down all the things you could say on paper will help you decide what to focus on. If an unstructured brainstorm sounds stressful, we’ve created this helpful wedding vows worksheet which will get your creative juices flowing.
Step 3
Start your vows with a statement about your spouse-to-be: calling him or her your best friend, confidant, most trusted advisor, or adventure partner, are a few examples of commonly used choices, but feel free to be creative. You can also use this space to express gratitude to your spouse-to-be.
Step 4
Tell your origin story. Where did you meet? What qualities were revealed in the beginning that made you realize you wanted to marry this person?
Step 5
Make promises. This is the “to have and to hold” part if you’d like to stick with traditional vows. You want to think carefully about what you want your marriage to look like. Your vows can be broad (“I promise to love you for the rest of my life”) or they can be very specific (“I promise to always let you have the last bite of cake”). They can be funny or they can be incredibly serious. The important thing is that they reflect the intended values of your marriage. Remember to include what you will do in good times and in bad.
Photo: Indiee Fox
Step 6
Look toward the future. Paint a picture of what you want your life together to look like. You can be specific about what you want your family to be like, activities you hope to engage in, or places you hope to see, and how you want your partnership to feel. Describe what your role will be in creating this future.
Step 7
Read what you have and edit.
- Remove cliches because they will feel stiff or overused. If you see a number of these in your draft, try writing the same sentiment, but in a way that brings in specifics of your relationship (e.g., “It was love at first sight” could become, “I’ll never forget the feeling I had when I first saw you walk into that restaurant in downtown San Francisco…”).
- Remove references to inside jokes or other things your guests won’t get. While your wedding vows are something you’re saying to your spouse, they are also a public declaration and you don’t want people to be confused. Plus, in a couple of decades you may forget what those inside jokes mean.
Photo: Wendy Laurel
Step 8
Read your vows out loud to a trusted family member or friend and ask for honest feedback. Reading out loud will help you pick out the details that don’t sound quite right. The listener can also point out things that are confusing that you might have missed. You may know what you want to say in your head, but you want to be sure it’s clear to everyone else.
Step 9
Print your vows. You don’t want to leave this important part of the ceremony to memory and you don’t want to stumble over your words trying to read your own handwriting. Having your phone out isn’t classy. Printed vows will help keep everything moving smoothly with elegance.
For more tips for writing wedding vows for her, check out our vow writing.
Tips for Writing Romantic Wedding Vows for Her
- Give yourself plenty of time: You want to give yourself time to let your ideas settle. Things that sound great today might strike you differently tomorrow. These should be carefully thought out and edited. This takes time!
- Talk to your spouse-to-be about what you want your vows to be like. You don’t want them to be too different in length or tone. Make sure you have the same expectations for what makes great vows so no one is disappointed on the big day.
- Avoid cliches. You want your vows to sound as unique as you are, not like something you pulled word for word from the internet.
- Avoid inside jokes, inappropriate jokes, and “roasts.” These are tacky and won’t stand the test of time.
- Avoid absolute language such as “always” and “never.” There will be hard times. If you put something unattainable in your vows, they won’t ring true.
- Tell a story. While your vows are a series of promises, you can open them with the story of how you met and close with the story of what you hope your future will be.
- Don’t worry about covering every last thing. You will leave things out. Aiming for perfection will only make it harder to come up with great vows. Your best is good enough.
- When in doubt, return to your relationship for inspiration. Look at pictures of your favorite moments and think of your favorite memories. If you get stuck, talk to your family or friends about your values and the things you love about your soon-to-be spouse. They can act as a sounding board for your ideas.
Tips on Delivering the Wedding Vows for Her
- Take a moment to compose yourself. Take a breath, then begin. This short pause will help you get started on the right foot.
- Look at your partner before you start and often during the vows. This will help remind you why you are doing this and can reassure you and calm your nerves. Look up at them throughout the vows if you feel nervous.
- Don’t rush. It can be tempting to rush to get everything out, but you have time. Clearly enunciate and move steadily through your vows.
- Project your voice. People at the back of the ceremony space will need to be able to hear too. Don’t shout, but speak in a full voice, breathing deeply from your belly.
- If you become emotional, it’s okay to pause or wipe away tears. This is a day for big feelings!
- Don’t just read your vows, but try to recall the feelings that inspired them when you wrote them. This may make some of your guests or your spouse cry! Or you! Sentimental tears are great on wedding days.
- Breathe. This will help calm you and also slow you down if you’re rushing. You’d be shocked how many people forget this important part of public speaking.
Examples of Inspirational Wedding Vows for Her
There are so many different tones that your wedding vows can have. Some couples opt for funny vows, others prefer more formal vows. You may want to include a variety of types of vows to balance the overall tone. These examples are just suggestions. Pull the ideas you like and scrap the ones you don’t!
Formal Wedding Vows for Her
“I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”
“I pledge to remain your companion and friend, I promise to be with you always, to care for you, and to love and cherish you no matter how far apart we may be. I will always show an interest in the things you do and your ideas. I will be with you in your heart and keep you safely in mine. When you are happy, I will be happy with you. When you are sad, I will make you smile. I will encourage you to continue growing as an individual as we work toward our mutual goals. I stand with you as your friend and wife and acknowledge that your choices are valid ones. I promise to give you love, honesty, trust and commitment, and, in general, keep your life interesting as we grow old together.”
Photo: William Avery Photography
Short Wedding Vows for Her
“From this day going forward, your joy is my joy, your problems are my problems, your heart is my heart, your dreams are my dreams, your life, my life until death do we part.”
“I promise to love you unconditionally, to be devoted to you above all others, and to find in you, my husband/wife, a light that to me is home.”
“I vow to give you everything you’ve already given me–unconditional love, support, patience, kindness, and a willingness to listen–for the rest of our lives.”
Romantic Wedding Vows for Her
“Today, [name], I join my life to yours, as your husband, your friend, your lover, and your confidant. Let me be the shoulder you lean on, the rock on which you rest, your companion for life. I promise to love you for the rest of my life.”
“I stand before you as a person with no reservations, choosing to spend the rest of my life with a man/woman for whom I have the utmost respect and love. I long to grow with you in mind and in spirit and to live together all the days of our lives.”
“Take me as your spouse and I shall take you as mine. Together we will have and hold each other, know each other's secrets, learn each other's every need, and try everyday to fulfill the promise that we make to each other today.”
“I am so honored to be able to stand beside you here and for the rest of our lives. From this day going forward, your laughter is my laughter, your tears my tears. I can’t wait to see where we will travel together. I can’t wait to have ordinary Sunday nights as your partner. I will love you and stand by you for the rest of my life.”
“I promise to grow with you and support you. I promise to be patient, understanding, and kind. I promise to listen and share. I promise to create, to explore, to laugh, and be curious. In good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, I promise to love you, I will make sure there is always coffee, I vow to be my best for myself, for us, and for our future together.”
“‘I do’ really means, ‘I will.’ I will dedicate myself to you. I will take your hand in a spirit of adventure. I will respect your decisions even when I might not agree with them. I will stand by you. I will love you and cherish growing old with you.”
Photo: Rachel May
Down to Earth Wedding Vows for Her
“Marriage isn't easy, it's hard work. It will be days and nights of exhaustion, of crying, of losing sleep, losing heart, and losing people. What makes love possible—what makes marriage a joy—is going through all of this together. I vow to take whatever life throws at us and face it with you.”
“The truth is that neither of us knows what the coming years will bring. There may be a time when one or both of us wants out. But today, I stand here, promising to always stand by your side, to always strive to understand your perspective, and to guard your well being as my own.”
Funny Wedding Vows for Her
“I promise not to nag you too much about taking out the trash…unless you’re taking way too long to do it.”
“When we’re old, I promise to let you win at minigolf and bridge, just like I let you win at tennis now.”
“Though I know you are not perfect, I promise to continue to act like you are.”
“I know that it’s often the little things in marriage that make a big difference. I promise to always have snacks in my bag, to make sure the coffee pot is never empty, and to always let you have the last bite of cake, even if it kills me.”
“I promise to love you more than that guy on Gray’s Anatomy [or insert other celebrity crush].”
"I vow to take your hand when it’s too dark, and the dog out when it’s too early."
“I vow to stay by your side until long after our skin is wrinkled and our hair falls out, until our hearing aid batteries are dead and we can’t remember each other’s names.”
“I promise to sometimes let you believe you’re right, even when you’re clearly wrong.”
Religious Wedding Vows for Her
“You are my soulmate, you are my best friend and one true love, I vow in front of these, our friends and family, and under God, that I will be a faithful and loving wife to you for all time.”
“______, I take you to be my husband/wife from this point forward, to join with you and to share all that is to come, to be your faithful partner, to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and to respond. This will be a commitment made in love, kept in faith, and eternally made new.”
“I, _______, take you, _______, to be my husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow.”
“I had prayed to God that this day would come and He would lead me to you. Today my prayers have been answered. I vow to be true to you in times good and bad, in sickness and in health. Until death do we part.”
Photo: Xenia Park
Quotes and Poems to Use in the Wedding Vows for Her
If you’re not feeling so sure about your own words, use someone else’s! So many eloquent things have been said about love. Go through your favorite song, poems, and novels. Look for famous quotes about love and marriage. Here are a few examples:
- “Love is a friendship set to music.” - Joseph Campbell
- “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” - Oprah Winfrey
- “The moment I heard my first love story / I started looking for you, / not knowing how useless that was. Lovers don’t meet somewhere along the way. / They’re in one another’s souls all along.” –Rumi
- “There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.” - John Lennon
- “If tomorrow is judgment day,
And I’m standing on the front line,
And the Lord asks me what I did with my life,
I will say I spent it with you.” - Whitney Houston - “Love arrives / and in its train come ecstasies / old memories of pleasure / ancient histories of pain. Yet if we are bold, / love strikes away the chains of fear from our souls.” - Maya Anjelou
- “Love is friendship on fire.” – Susan Sontag
- "The best thing to hold onto in life is each other." - Audrey Hepburn
- “Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.” – Zora Neale Hurston
FAQ
- Do both partners say the same vows?
Not necessarily. While traditional wedding vows are the same for both partners, if you’re writing your own, they can be different and reflect the unique promises that the bride and groom are making. - What do you say in a wedding vow?
While vows can be really different depending on your beliefs and personal style, all wedding vows should contain a few key elements. First, be sure to include an acknowledgement of your love for and appreciation of your spouse-to-be. You also want to include particular promises that you are making to them about the future, as well as some kind of statement of your intended commitment, whether it’s “until death do you part,” “I will love you for all eternity” or “I promise to always stand by your side.” These can be as specific or as general as you’d like. - How long should wedding vows be?
This is a matter of personal preference. Some couples opt for a quick line or two of vows while others prefer this moment to be the center of the ceremony with long letters written to each other. If you go the second route, try to keep each person’s vows under two minutes. While that sounds short, trust us, it can feel quite long on the day of. - Is it OK to read your wedding vows?
It is perfectly OK to read your printed wedding vows, especially if they are longer. No one would expect you to remember all those details and you don’t want to stall or stumble over your words. We don’t recommend reading from your phone, though. It’s not good for pictures and imagine how distracting it would be if you got a notification. Also, if you’re reading, try to occasionally look at your spouse, so the reading feels natural. - How do you read your wedding vows to her in a way that sounds heartfelt?
Don’t just read your vows, but try to really think and feel what you are saying. If you do this, the authenticity will come through in your voice. One tactic that some people use is to only glance at their printed vows before each vow, but then say the vow looking at their spouse. This eye contact will help keep you at ease, allowing you to sound more natural. - How do you end wedding vows?
Some people want a clear ending for their vows. “This is my solemn promise” or “This is my sacred vow” can signal a clear end to your vows. But you can also trust that people will understand that your vows are over once you say something like, “I will love you for as long as we both shall live.”
